Fannish Fifty #3: Obsc'Zine Issue 2

[amado1]

I figured Fannish Fifty was a good excuse to go through all my zines and make comprehensive reviews for them. So I'll start with a favorite of mine, Obsc'Zine Issue 2, published in 1977 as an off-shoot of the less-nsfw zine Warped Space. (I'll definitely cover WS later, as I have three or four old issues of it, too).

Obsc'Zine was a Star Trek-centric X-rated zine that didn't discriminate. Slash, het, femslash, orgies, bestiality, monster-fucking, all was allowed. The covers featured lovingly-rendered portraits of our main characters in various states of undress. For Issue #2, that's Kirk! As a warning, just about everything below this cut is NSFW, with images included:



(I didn't bother to kick my scanner to life so you'll have to deal with my terrible photography)

Here's our back cover, which is much easier to see:



CONTENTS:

We start off with "Carnal Comments", aka letters from readers of the first Obsc'Zine. These were wonderful, with lots of debate over the inclusion of K/S, which I transcribed in an earlier post. Limericks come next, including this one by Rose England:

Jim, have you read the latest OBSC-ZINE?
It's the most fascinating I've seen --
Or at least it would be
(For it's all about me)
But what does homosexual mean?

Next we have "The Literary Biological Imperative" written by Ruth Kwitko Lym and illustrated by Gordon Carletor in a goofy, sort of Mad Magazine style. This fits the story perfectly, because it's a short, tongue-in-cheek humor story where Jim Kirk grows jealous of the fact that fanfic writers are constantly yanking his science officer out of canon for mind-blowing sex, instead of taking the captain instead! Spock is less amused by it. In fact Spock would very much like a break.

Following this we have more poetry and limericks,and "Friendship and Obligation," by Luba Kmetyk, a short, funny, three-paragraph story about Spock lying in bed post-coitus with another man. As a twist, the man reveals himself to be McCoy, worrying that Jim suspects he and Spock are...well...

 Then comes our first full-length fic of the zine, "Bridle For a Nightmare." Written by Elizabeth Clair and illustrated by Leslie Fish, "Bridle" starts as a testimony transcript, where it becomes clear McCoy has murdered some kind of alien species. As the transcript gives way to pose, we learn that McCoy was beset and sexually tortured by this alien, a vampiress, and even though he's defeated her, he's still haunted by her in his dreams. A female OC (a doctor and old friend of McCoy's) helps him through these nightmares by strapping him into a dream machine and guiding him through. Three scenes of sexual torture, rape, and murder follow, until finally McCoy dreams that he rescued the young vampiress from a harem. The spell is broken! Non-dream sequences of McCoy/OFC are sprinkled throughout, including when he comes in his sleep (dreaming about murder!) and she takes a shower with him to wash it off.

The Big E Meets the Big O, or, The Ultimate Trek Tail by Lora Rane, illustrated by Gordon Carleton: Here, in another humor story, Spock is the only crew member unaffected by a sudden thirst for sex. He watches as his crewmates join each other in public threesomes and foursomes and is quietly thankful that this time he's exempt ... until a godlike fanfic author appears to inform him that, if the entire Enterprise joins in the orgy, their orgasm will be so powerful it creates an alternate universe. Then the fanfic author can write smut all day long without ever bothering canon Spock again.

(More limericks)

(As a fun side note, the margins of each page include Star Trek jokes and puns)

The Pon Farr Articles, illustrated by Susan Ceci, are a series of worldbuilding essays and debates. These include The Vulcan Ritual of Pon-Farr by Marie Hietala, Pon Farr by Jeann Webster, Pon farr (lowercase F) by Johanna Cantor, Metabolic Levels in the Sundered Peoples by Elyse Grasso, The Joy of Pon Farr by Jenn Lorrah, and to round it all off, a Spock/OFC smut story called simply "Pon Farr" (again), written by Marcia Mathog and illustrated by Gayle Feyrer.

...more poetry and limericks follow. But here we come to the Erotic Kirk Portfolio, a condensed grouping of Kirk-centric smut fics and full-page illustrations, including a pull-out poster.

First up, we have "But Can He Type?"



This brief story features slave!Kirk, raped off-screen first by a female captor and later by a man who buys Kirk as a personal toy. This one is written by Paula Smith and illustrated by Leslie Fish.

Next, The Ballad of Jim, Max and Floo:



This one-page poem by Paulas Block and Smith is illustrated by Beverly Zuk and features Kirk struggling to bed an alien woman who can't stand missionary. Actually, I'll just transcribe it!

A female of Felar named Floo
Was rather reluctant to screw
In supine position
(Brought in by the Mission),
Which put a wet blanket on woo.

While Kirk spoke for sex tete-a-tete,
A growl came from Floo's former mate
A cat name of Max
Who, versed in the facts,
Now went about setting them straight.

"O Mistress, just what are you doing,
This casual chat you're pursuing?
It's easy to do it;
For God's sake, get to it!
I'd rather be screwing than stewing."

Kirk said, with great captainly tact,
"It's easier said than done, Mac."
"That's Max," de-mewed Cat.
"I already said that,"
Snarled Kirk (but he hadn't, in fact.)

"It's easier done than said, schmuck."
And being a cat with great pluck,
"I'll show you the way
That we do it each day,
Since you plainly can't fathom La Fuck."

So, over Kirk's stringent objection
(And threats of feline vivisection),
With air cavalier
Max "captured the rear,"
Invading the High Command Section.

To make a long limerick short,
Good Max quite excelled in disport.
He serviced his mate
--And also her date--
And thus shall we end the report.

The third story is Virgin Territory by Paula Smith, with this fold-out poster by V.M. Wyman:



Apologies for the shadow. Kirk is arranged in marriage to a 12-year-old alien princess. The narrative lingers lovingly on how vulnerable and scared she is. Kirk, of course, is aghast, and when the girl faints from fear, he cuts himself and smears the blood between her legs and over his own dick, to fool her father into thinking they had sex.

For the rest of the Kirk Portfolio, I didn't take pictures. We have "A Third Lazarus," a very sweet SFW Kirk/Spock story where Kirk temporarily dies, and feels Spock squeezing his hand as he floats in the afterlife. Next is "Bound", a K/S poem.

Some extra poetry follows before we get to "Up For the Honeymoon," a cute romantic and smutty story about McCoy and his wife, an OC named Sadie. Next up is "The Kama Vulca", a heavily illustrated guide to sex positions for Vulcans, and "Solstice", starring Kirk and his OC love interest (I think her name was Sarah).

One of my favorite parts of this zine was "The Easy Way Out", an essay on slash fic and why it isn't feminist to write Kirk and Spock banging. In fact, if you really cared about women, you'd create a female OC to fuck them instead!

Of course I wonder how the author would feel about the next story, Kismet, which is a very cute smut story featuring Chapel/Uhura, with a tongue-in-cheek joke that goes like, "Have you heard the rumors about Captain Kirk and Mister Spock? Good thing they're throwing people off our trail!" This has some fun, cute fingering, where the author goes out of her way to avoid the word "clit."

Our final story is "There Goes Paradise," Chekhov/OFC. After that, it's just poetry, and here's some samples!

An Iowian native was noted,
Cassonova he often had quoted,
Each maid that he bedded,
Claimed not to be wedded,
But after each conquest, he gloated.

The reason for all his success,
Was hardly his talent for chess,
Too polite to deny,
Each lady her lie,
He prevented such marital stress.

However, the truth were it told
The record for bastards he'd hold,
And the credits he'd need
To support his space seed,
Would make him a little less bold.

The Bank of Altair he did please,
And floated a loan with much ease,
When the bank repossessed,
He became distressed,
When he learnt it'd be stored in deep freeze.

--Beverly Glielmi, Melissa Bayard, and Beverly Zuk

There once was a brave astronaut
Who said, "It is just as I thought.
When I try to fuck weightless
My cock is inflateless
Such is an astronaut's lot."

--Connie Colman

O my friend, I cannot make myself
Believe that we are lovers at last.
How could I have known that you
Would ever want to love anyone?
And how could I be so blessed
That you would love me?
You lie in my embrace, so more-than-human warm,
And I know that this moment
Is what my life has been for.
The singing in my mind, in my veins,
Is some ancient symphony that flows
From your thoughts, from your body
To mine. So piercingly sweet, so beautiful
Like your very soul. I love you.

You were so innocent, the first time
We came together. You, who are so strong,
So brave, so correct, so coolly logical,
You became my slave, my toy, like clay
To be molded by my hands alone.
You trusted me so completely,
Your face looked up at me,
Your eyes like pools of liquid velvet.
I pressed my lips to yours,
So softly yielding; I played with you,
I teased you, I aroused you for the first time.
And you never knew, did you,
That it was the first time for me too?
Our bodies merged in that rolling storm
Of green-tinged fire -- our minds merged also.
And now, in that almost-painful afterglow,
There is no guilt (though I had thought there might be).
There is only the indescribably, melting tenderness
Of loving, and being loved by you

--Ellen L. Kobrin

SOME OTHER NOTES

The zine includes a few ads I enjoyed. One is a full-page spread for T'Con. Transcription here:

IN 1978, THERE WILL BE NO SEKWESTER*CON -- BUT THERE WILL BE

T'CON
Easter Weekend 1978
Friday, March 24 - Sunday, March 26

T'CON will be conducted aboard the T'Kuhtian Clipper. All individuals from planets within the United Federation of Planets or other treaty holders with the Federation are welcome to participate. Photos of aliens and humanoids are requested for the boarding pass/I.D.

In keeping with the interplanetary nature of this event, awards for the Best Costume Representative of Planet of Origin will be given after the Banquet.

T'CON members shall assemble at the Hilton Inn of Lansing to board the T'Kuhtian Clipper.

Attendance is limited to 250.
 

REGISTER NOW

There will be an Art Display and Auction, Traders' Rooms, Saturday Banquet and Sunday Brunch, as well as other entertainments provided during the voyage.
 

Attending Membership ..... $5 plus 3 legal size s.a.s.e.s.
Supporting Membership ..... $2 plus 3 legal size s.a.s.e.s.
Traders' Room ..........$3 per 1/2 table (no pro dealers)

Costs of Banquets, directions, hotel rates, and other more detailed information will be included in the progress reports

Completely accessible to handicappers
 

 

Make checks payable to T'KUHTIAN PRESS, and please include payment for T'CON activities only -- do not combine with 'zine subscription, etc.).

Address payments and inquiries to: T'CON, c/o Lori Chapek

*****

Another fun ad was for "City on the Edge of Whatever", a coloring book based on a skit performed at SEKWESTER*CON, which spoofed Harlan Ellison's original teleplay and allegedly got Ellison's approval in Toronto. The art, by Gordon Carleton, again closely resembles Mad Magazine, lots of goofy faces and sharp caricatures.