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Donna Minkowitz, "Ferocious Romance" again
Upon disguising herself as a 16-year-old boy to infiltrate a Promise-Keepers meeting:
Garlington, who once participated in an authoritarian church movement known as "shepherding", tells us that "God created us with an innate desire to see someone or something as superior to ourselves. We were created to worship. It's like God programmed you to be a worshipper." It turns out that his anti-macho preachings stem from a belief that men must humiliate themselves before God. His problem with macho men is that they just don't deprecate themselves enough.
At Garlington's behest, we all sing "I desire to worship and obey." Then Garlington bids us to abase ourselves "in whatever way the spirit moves you." Some kneel, some bow, some prostrate themselves fully -- a favorite posture of the Promise Keepers, it turns out. It's very weird. Men around me start to moan about their sins. "I am not worthy..." "Oh, God! Have mercy, Father God! Have mercy..." "Oh, God, I give you my love. I give you my life. Helpless. Yes, Lord, closer to you." Why do they think love and morality have anything to do with humiliation? Why do they believe God wants them to lick His boots?
Later I remember a weird fact about men: They like to abase themselves. I keep mistakenly telling people this conference took place in St. Augustine, Florida, not St. Petersburg. It's just that all this weeping, mortification, red faces, sorrowful confessions, and paroxysms of hangdog shame are a part of a historical male trajectory that dates back at least as far as that most male and ecstatically hangdog of saints, Augustine. Honey, I have sinned! As we usually conceive of it, repentance is male, not female. Women aren't supposed to sin to begin with, but men are expected to do things for which they'll have to say they're sorry later.
No wonder the Promise Keepers seem to enjoy addressing God as though he were their dominatrix. For one thing, it makes it okay to have been bad. For another, it is a great relief to bow at last before the Phallic Mother or some better man than you. Affirming your worthlessness before God and women is a release, if you're a man. It means you can stop worrying about who is on top. You can stop worrying about whether you're even half the man you are supposed to be. "Father, we yield ourselves to you," I'll hear a 25-year-old Promise Keeper pray on the Washington Mall two years later, "to receive your forgiveness and grace and to feel your righteousness." All the verbs sound so female, or at least what men imagine as female.
Garlington, who once participated in an authoritarian church movement known as "shepherding", tells us that "God created us with an innate desire to see someone or something as superior to ourselves. We were created to worship. It's like God programmed you to be a worshipper." It turns out that his anti-macho preachings stem from a belief that men must humiliate themselves before God. His problem with macho men is that they just don't deprecate themselves enough.
At Garlington's behest, we all sing "I desire to worship and obey." Then Garlington bids us to abase ourselves "in whatever way the spirit moves you." Some kneel, some bow, some prostrate themselves fully -- a favorite posture of the Promise Keepers, it turns out. It's very weird. Men around me start to moan about their sins. "I am not worthy..." "Oh, God! Have mercy, Father God! Have mercy..." "Oh, God, I give you my love. I give you my life. Helpless. Yes, Lord, closer to you." Why do they think love and morality have anything to do with humiliation? Why do they believe God wants them to lick His boots?
Later I remember a weird fact about men: They like to abase themselves. I keep mistakenly telling people this conference took place in St. Augustine, Florida, not St. Petersburg. It's just that all this weeping, mortification, red faces, sorrowful confessions, and paroxysms of hangdog shame are a part of a historical male trajectory that dates back at least as far as that most male and ecstatically hangdog of saints, Augustine. Honey, I have sinned! As we usually conceive of it, repentance is male, not female. Women aren't supposed to sin to begin with, but men are expected to do things for which they'll have to say they're sorry later.
No wonder the Promise Keepers seem to enjoy addressing God as though he were their dominatrix. For one thing, it makes it okay to have been bad. For another, it is a great relief to bow at last before the Phallic Mother or some better man than you. Affirming your worthlessness before God and women is a release, if you're a man. It means you can stop worrying about who is on top. You can stop worrying about whether you're even half the man you are supposed to be. "Father, we yield ourselves to you," I'll hear a 25-year-old Promise Keeper pray on the Washington Mall two years later, "to receive your forgiveness and grace and to feel your righteousness." All the verbs sound so female, or at least what men imagine as female.