Fannish Fifty #8: To Boldly Go #1 Zine Review

[amado1]

 

I was lucky enough to pick up all three issues of "To Boldly Go", an adult-oriented and primarily slash zine for TNG! These are tiny, digest-sized zines, without the polish and flair that you see in other outfits -- the adult-oriented TOS zine "Obsc'Zine" is fun, with readable print and creative layout; the Orion Press zines are professional-style, with no blurry copying. This zine, by contrast, feels down and dirty, which is honestly pretty suitable for an early 90s slash zine! Each story is in a different font, some of them nigh-unreadable. Page numbers were written in by ballbpoint pen. Illustrations are quick, simple sketches. Typos abound, with sleazy sexual descriptions that ... well, if you've also read a lot of 90s gay erotica, like I have, you'll find it pretty nostalgic and fun XD

From the inside cover:

Zines: the final frontier...

These are the publications of Starlite Press, its continuing mission: to explore strange, new storylines, to seek out new writers and new artists, TO BOLDLY GO where no editors have gone before...

Welcome to To Boldly Go... #1, the first of what we hope will be many issues of our adult ST:TNG zines. We've been very pleased with the turn-out, both from contributors and subscribers, and we hope to continue to grow stronger with each issue.

As you will notice in this issue, we're open to any and all relationships, be they straight, gay or lesbian. We'd like to maintain this balance and hope we haven't offended anyone. After all, in the twenty-fourth century, we will have grown beyond the present-day embarrassment about sexual matters.

At any rate, we hope you enjoy this issue and please spread the word -- we're looking for submissions for #2 and #3 (deadlines are 3/3/90 and 9/4/90, respectively), so keep your dirty little minds working after each episode!

So claim your holodeck time, program your favorite setting, engage the privacy locks, and prepare to warp out of this world, to fire those thrusters, to boldly go where no zine has gone before!

Anne & Darlene

TO BOLD GO...#1 is published solely for the enjoyment of its readers and does not intend to infringe upon any held copyrights. © November 1989 by Starlite Press.

(Reviewer's note, I just got a notification for a tumblr anon saying "I hope you die soon" while I was typing this up dfkjskdhfksdf)

Okay, so some notes about the stories before I dive in: the writing level was much higher, imo, than what I generally saw in Obsc'Zine, although there were FREQUENTLY moments that made me chuckle. Almost all the stories are Riker-based, with only three that I remember having no Riker at all. 

So let's dive in!

Arch by Alys, Worf/Riker.

A fantastic, lovely Worf/Riker story that takes place several months after Tasha's death. Tasha was Worf's only friend on the Enterprise; he's under a lot of stress trying to fill her shoes as the new security officer, AND he's sexually frustrated because every time they visit a planet, there aren't any Klingonoid women for him to fuck. 

Lately, Worf's been spending a lot of time in the holodeck, and Deanna Troi is concerned. She can sense his tumultuous emotions and starts worrying about what will happen if he snaps: Klingon rage, grief, sexual frustration, plus access to the armory and security codes? She convinces a reluctant Riker to befriend Worf (something that almost took me out of the story, because from my comfortable 2023 perspective, Worf and Riker have always been besties XD)

This is where the sexual tension gets delicious >:) Dr. Pulaski informs Riker that he's been neglecting his combat requirements. He can't go on anymore away missions until he logs the necessary hours in the holodeck combat arena. Well, that's where Worf always is, so Riker can kill two birds with one stone! He signs up for an empty arena, and while he's waiting for his turn, he watches Worf at work. Worf is shirtless, graceful, predatory, beautiful -- Riker is totally absorbed, watching Worf fight a wild animal. He thinks of it as watching an artist at work. And Worf, meanwhile, can sense that his first officer is watching him, and is equal parts nervous (WHY is his first officer watching him??) and flattered -- and he fights better than he ever has before.

They slowly strike up a friendship, and one night, when Worf is hunting a calf in the holodeck, he experiences a deep longing for someone to share this moment with. In the next scene, he takes Riker on a traditional Klingon hunting trip -- a rite of adulthood -- and when Riker kills his first calf, Worf slits the calf's throat and pours its blood into a bowl. He uses this blood as warpaint on Riker's forehead and cheeks (deeply sensual scene) and we're treated to a great-ish sex scene with bottom!Riker... sort of.

Why sort of? Well, first of all, they don't actually have sex. It's all fun and games until Riker feels an unlubricated ridged Klingon dick against his ass, and then he says "Wait a damn minute." They just stop! Plus there's this exchange, which kills me every time I think of it:

Worf's hands traveled across the man's body. "Your skin is so white, like rare Denibian worms."
"Thanks, I think ... and exactly what does one do with Denibian worms?"

💀

At the end, we're treated to this lovely Worf/Riker drawing, which I 100% thought was Worf/Picard when I first saw it.

 

Okay, on to the next fic!

Lessons by D'neese, Riker/Troi.

This one cracked me up! It starts out full PWP Riker/Troi, lots of titty sucking, somewhat wince-inducing sex descriptions ("he plunged into her moistness"??) ... but just as Deanna and Will climax, they realize they're not alone. Data is standing patiently in the room, waiting to speak with them. 

(Turns out he knocked on the door around the same time Deanna yelled: "Coming! I'm coming!" and Data misheard it as "Come in!")

The rest of the fic is a hilariously sweet, gen-style, in-character conversation between Will and Data, as Data asks about romance and sex. Specifically, Geordi has started seeing an ensign, and he no longer has time for Data. But Riker and Deanna have time for ALL their friends; they don't prioritize each other, like Geordi is doing. Riker explains that it's different for him -- he and Deanna got to know each other years ago, they're past the stage where they need to learn each other's personalities. Geordi and the ensign are still in that stage.

Data claims not to understand sex, but Riker questions him a bit about what he experienced with Tasha Yar ("it felt like my circuits were overloading) and says he thinks Data understands it just as well as humans do. Finally, Riker sends Data away and determines to spend more time with him, at least until Geordi and the ensign calm down.

Very cute! 



The Boy's Captain by Hannah -- Riker/Picard, Wesley & Picard.

God, this one was good! It really blew me away.

Wesley Crusher is lying in sickbay, most of his body totally numb, and he's utterly humiliated. When Captain Picard comes to visit him, Wesley is extra-mortified, and as readers, we slowly piece together what happened: on shore leave, Wesley got separated somehow from Geordi and Data and wandered down a sordid alleyway, where he was attacked -- maybe gang-raped -- by a group of alien men. Or at least, that's what it seems like on the surface. But Picard has questioned the men involved and discovered that they're male prostitutes -- that they say Wesley came onto them, and was willing to pay -- and that Wesley had looked up the planet before going down, that he deliberately separated himself from Geordi and Data, and that he knew where he was going.

Wesley wants to sink into the floor from shame. Gently, Picard informs him that if he ever feels the need to do something like this again, he should simply utilize the resources on the Enterprise. This gets Wesley's attention. What resources?? Surely Picard doesn't mean--

But Picard confirms it: there are plenty of people on the Enterprise who share Wesley's proclivities. He doesn't have to be ashamed of his tastes; there's nothing unusual about it at all. Picard assures Wesley that the official report will say only that Wesley was beaten up by a group of locals; and no one will tell Beverly what happened until Wesley is ready. He suggests Wesley speak to Deanna, and then Picard returns home to his lover -- shares a few sleepy kisses, discusses what happened with Wesley, etc., all leading up to the "surprise" reveal that Picard's lover is not a woman: it's Riker. 

I had read the summaries of each fic on the back before I started, and I was least interested in this one -- and even LESS pleased to find out that there are sequels to it in To Boldly Go #2 and #3. Although the summary explicitly said Wesley was "recovering from injuries received in a red light district", I decided this must just be an STD. I was surprised and pleased to find a more somber story about homophobia and shame. This was one of my favorites -- maybe my absolute favorite from the zine! And it comes with the best illustration of the batch:



To Q or Not to Q by Anne - Riker/Picard.

Another sad, sweet little story. This one follows Riker immediately after the episode where he receives Q's powers. Ashamed by his own behavior, Riker stays away from Picard's quarters that night, only coming around when Picard summons him. Picard orders Riker to take off his boots and get into bed, and they have a quiet heart-to-heart talk about what Riker did, why it wasn't shameful, how it showcases his good qualities, etc.

It ends with some very shyly written sex and a very not-shy illustration.



Just Two Starships That Pass in the Night by D'neese -- a missing scene from the episode "A Matter of Honor" (Riker/Klingon Woman)

This one is so cute! XD

While stationed on a Klingon ship, Riker decides to explore Klingon mating rituals with one of the burly females who flirted with him in the bar. They have sex Klingon-style first: rough, bloody, masochistic! And then they have sex human-style, slow and sensual, with all the focus placed on pleasure instead of pain. 

But my favorite part is the aftermath: when he returns to the Enterprise, Riker is escorted to sickbay by Worf, and Dr. Pulaski wants to make sure he didn't injure his back when he was thrown off the command platform. She has Riker take off his shirt and examines the scratches on his back while Worf examines the bite marks on his chest, rather knowingly. 

Riker just grins. 

Command Performance by Hannah. Data/Picard.

This was a fun one! 

Picard is walking down the Enterprise's corridors when someone assaults him from behind and pushes him into an empty storage closet. It's so dark he can't see his assailant, and Picard is helpless as the stranger tears his uniform open and starts roughly manhandling him, dirty-talking and humiliating Picard, threatening to rape him... only the longer it goes on, the more aroused Picard gets.

The mystery assailant forces Picard to beg to be fingered, then to be fucked, all at a punishing, lube-free pace. And Picard, much to his mortification, enjoys the whole ordeal, even/especially when he comes all over his torn uniform. At the end, we learn that the mystery assailant is Data, and of course, the whole thing is a regularly planned affair that helps Picard relieve some of the stress of being in command. He even has an extra uniform handy :)

If I Reach Out, Will You Be There? by D'neese. Tasha/Deanna.

This is the only femslash fic in the entire zine! (There's a lot more femslash in the other TNG slash zine I have; I can't remember what that one is called, but Tasha/Deanna is a staple). The plot is very basic: In the episode "The Naked Now", instead of going to Data, Tasha goes to Deanna. They have somewhat weepy sex about it.

I don't have much to say about this one; it was very straightforward, nonkinky sex, with no plot, so it wasn't really my cup of tea.



Naked on the Bridge by Ann (Riker/Picard)

Ahh! I forgot about this one! XD ALSO takes place during The Naked Now, but this one features an infected Riker and Picard on the bridge with an uninfected Worf, who is forced to ... er, not watch, exactly... who is forced to pointedly ignore his captain and first officer as they start groping each other on the bridge while poor Worf is just trying to save the day.

This is cute, fun, easy to visualize. Riker starts out just pulling Picard against his chest, skimming his hands down his body, stroking him through his uniform while Worf wishes he could melt through the floor. It progresses to full-blown sex on the bridge -- oral, anal -- but I was disappointed that once the sex starts, we lose Worf's POV entirely! XD I kept waiting for a flash back to him after Riker and Picard orgasm, but no such luck.

Next up, we have:

Command Decision by Sue-Anne (Riker/Picard)

As you lay dying, in Sick Bay,
and you bravely joked with me,
and we spoke of duty, and the "Job",
you never knew, you never saw...

...the tears I choked back.

Later, as time was slipping away,
I left you to Deanna,
your special friend, your lover,
and you never knew, you never guessed...

...the envy I felt.

For she can kiss you, hold you,
know the secrets of your body I long to explore.
She can be with you, love you,
as death claims you, steals you away...

...from me. Forever.

And then, as you emerged at last,
victor over death, for now,
I welcomed you back, gave you your orders,
for I am your Captain, after all...

I want you, Will. I love you.

And you will never know.

****
 

Next was "A Little Bit of Heaven on Haven" by D'neese (Riker/Troi)

In this long-ish story, Riker has reluctantly begun to confront his feelings for Troi, following the episode "Manhunt", where Lwaxana declared her intention to marry Will. The issue is Riker himself told Troi they should stay platonic on the Enterprise. Luckily for him, Troi can sense his desire, and she agrees, it's time to rekindle the relationship. Convincing Will to let himself let go is the problem!

To that end, Lwaxana requests that Will and Deanna join her on Haven for a week-long diplomatic conference. Riker reluctantly agrees ... but there IS no conference. On Haven, Deanna puts her plan into motion, spiking Will's drink with a local drug that drives him into a needy sexual frenzy. Cue some fantastic 69-ing. And some more. And some more. And by the end, Will has fully accepted that he and Deanna are Imzadi.

(And he goes back for another spiked drink, none the wiser)

Stardate: Unknown by David Thomas Scott (Riker/Original Male Character)

Okay, maybe THIS was my favorite! Wacky, sad, creepy, kinky... it's got it all.

Our story starts with a frantic log entry from Scott Barnes, an engineer who's trapped on a shuttle with Commander Riker and an assortment of other crew members ... all of whom have died. Only Barnes and Riker are left, and he notes that even Wesley, who was expected to make it, died this morning. Gradually, through a combination of terrified log entries from Barnes and calm entries from Riker and Picard, we learn that Riker's latest away team picked up an alien parasite that the transporter can't filter out. 

For the past 8 days, the away team has been trapped on this shuttle together. The Enterprise beams food and medical supplies to them, but it can't beam them out ... except for autopsy! Once they die, Pulaski beams out each body to dissect it and try to learn whatever she can about this parasite -- and hopefully find out how to defeat it before it kills again. 

Down to only two people, it's clear that Barnes is infected, but Riker is still okay (his latest blood sample shows he's clean). Pulaski determines that the parasite itself causes non-fatal symptoms, but the eggs it lays cause a chemical imbalance that kills humans quickly. She sends over a potential cure and Riker force-feeds it to Barnes, who quickly starts to hallucinate.

From Barnes' POV, Riker becomes a ghastly... strangely alluring... fish-man, like a Lovecraftian cursed figure, gills and silver scales. Barnes is terrified and awed, and starts tentatively touching the fish-man -- and Riker, burning up from 8 days without sex (lmfao), decides to let it happen. He and Barnes have passionate sex, figure out that penicillin is actually all they need to kill the parasitic eggs, and go back about their lives XD

(No one mourns for poor Wesley!! I mourned for him...)

Next up is Electric Fantasies by D'neese (Riker/Troi)

Two PWP scenes set in the holodeck. In the first, Troi indulges Riker's fantasy of having sex on the bridge by programming a holo-bridge for them to fuck in. In the second scene, Riker indulges Troi with a decadent holo-hotspring. 

(I do love Riker/Troi, but I don't have much to say about D'neese's work. Like the Tasha/Deanna story above, they're just very straightforward, not very kinky, and not plotty about all, so all I can say is that they're well-written)



Best Friends by Sue-Ann (Data/Geordi)

What can I give my friend,
my best friend, who is leaving?

A book? A drawing?
Something silly? Something useful?

How can you tell an android
of feelings for him that he'd never understand?

A human man
never would...
not even sure if I do.

Those feelings are so new
to me ... does Data even "feel?"
To me, he's always been so real...

...as real as the love I can't explain.
For him.

Has my "blindness" made me see him
in a way the others never could?
How loving he is, how giving, how good?

What can I give my best friend,
when I know I never can?

I wish to love this android as a man.

****

And finally, we have our last story:

Oz Didn't Give Nothin' to the Tinman by Debra. (Data/Geordi)

A very cute, long-ish story that starts with Data visiting Guinan, troubled by his recent obsession: homosexuality. He can't understand why humans continued to seek out gay relationships when it was punishable by death or imprisonment for so long. Is it really so much better than heterosexual sex?

Guinan -- I loved this part! -- mentions that of course, NOW we know that most humans are bisexual, but back in the day, social mores kept most humans from acknowledging that side of themselves. And believe it or not, Data, a very small, rare segment of the population only likes the opposite sex!! Can you imagine? 

...Anyway, this segues into Data going straight to Geordi and asking to have sex XD Geordi's dialogue is cute, funny, and pitch-perfect here. Of course, he agrees, and he and Data have a very satisfying time together, where Geordi is determined to turn Data into a pillow princess. And i think it works, too. 

We end with a cute scene of Geordi showing Data's latest painting to Guinan. It's beautiful, abstract, creative. Gay sex has really opened his third eye!